Trust me, I can’t even believe the words “I’m pregnant” myself. Publishing this blog post is totally surreal. I mean, other people get pregnant, do pregnancy announcements, and google-search all the weird pregnancy related things, not ME! This is my very first pregnancy EVER so the vast amounts of information that Jarryd and I have learned these past months is insane!
Were We Trying?
I realize that pregnancy can be a sensitive topic, so I’ll try my best to word things respectfully, but I also have to share it the way that I experienced it myself. It’s mine and Jarryd’s story, so I gotta tell it like it is. 🙂
We weren’t trying per-say to get pregnant, but we weren’t exactly not trying either. Like, this might be a tad TMI for some of you, but I wasn’t ever keeping track of my periods or ovulation or “fertile window” or anything like that. Jarryd and I were just like, well we’ve moved back to Canada, we’ve bought a house that has room to grow in, we’re nearing our thirties, and it’d be nice to have young kids at the same time as our friends! So let’s just see what happens.
There was a big part of me that was afraid I’d never get pregnant because my parents tried for 9 years to have children. 9 years! That’s just about a decade of playing the agonizing waiting game. And the countless miscarriages and stillbirths happening all around is of course going to put worries in my head.
(By the way, my parents ended up having 5 children after those long infertile years–and I just happen to be their favourite. Haha, jokes? 😛 )
So with these things in mind, I decided i’d be real about the whole thing and not expect too much. And I’ll just be honest and say that I’ve never been that girl who felt inclined to hold every baby in the room or who’s had a list of baby names saved since she was 16. (I’m only starting to research baby names now!)
I’ve always felt like I’m just not ready yet…maybe in a few years; and then a few years passes by and I still don’t feel like I’m ready yet. So like I said, we were just like let’s see what happens and what God has planned for us (because really, what constitutes being “100% ready”?).
Like I said, I wasn’t really keeping track of my time-of-month, but I knew that it normally happened in the first week of every month. So mid-way through January I thought to myself, huh…I’m like two weeks late. I should probably take a test. Also, I didn’t feel any different. The movies have completely deceived me in this area. They make it seem like a girl throws up the day after she misses her period and then has that panicked look on her face that says I’M PREGNANT. I didn’t show (or realize) any symptoms of pregnancy until I was three weeks late!
And then it all hit at once. (More on that later!)
I ran to Dollarama, bought a test for under $2 (that’s right, savin’ where I can!), got myself a Sausage and Egg McMuffin from the drive-thru (thinking: I’m gonna need sustenance for this!), and took the test at home. Which was an out-of-body experience because like I said, I’m not that girl who does this, ever!
The funny thing is that back of the pregnancy test box said “if pregnant, you will see two faint lines form”. Three minutes later, THEE boldest two lines I’d ever seen show up. Wow, I must be reeeeally pregnant…
Telling The Hubs…
You never know how the husband will react to such life-changing news, so when I whipped out the pregnancy test at him he was in TOTAL shock. He really had to sit down and contemplate things. He then decided that we HAD to call his parents, and his friends back home in the US.
And the next day when he went to work, he told his co-workers!! You guys, we hadn’t even told MY parents, MY siblings, or MY friends yet. He was just so elated he couldn’t keep it a secret. I wasn’t even upset about it though, I found it more flattering if anything; plus, everyone is going to find out eventually!
The whole first trimester was pretty much me constantly debating with myself in my head: am I suuure I’m actually pregnant? I don’t look it–what if it’s all in my head? And then I would proceed to throw up randomly. Yep, definitely pregnant.
First trimester was HARD. I’d tell any and every mom that I knew: I can’t believe you went through this x amount of times–you’re amazing!! (Because I reeeally don’t think women get enough credit for surviving the first trimester!) I’d text my friends: Please tell me–again–that this will all be worth it in 9 months, I’m so tired of feeling this way.
Every night before going to bed I’d have to make sure I had a bag of saltine crackers, sliced apples, and a glass of water on my nightstand. Because I knew the next morning if I left my bed on an empty stomach, I’d throw up. So the first thing I did every morning was eat.
I definitely lost my whole appetite. It’s probably a good thing but the only thing I really wanted to eat was fruit, frozen fruit, popsicles, and vegetables. I couldn’t go near my favourite foods anymore: chips and a nice cold can of Coke? Ew. Bagels? Gross. COFFEE? Noooo. And my number one food aversion was of course a staple in our household: chicken breast.
(Note to self: NEVER EVER cook your worst food aversion in a slow-cooker whilst pregnant–the smell of chicken & dumplings will take DAYS to leave the house.)
Insane Sense Of Smell…
OH and the whole thing about your sense of smell strengthening to superhero heights is completely true. We were in the midst living with my parents while working on our Home Renos during this time and a huge reason why we took so long to move into our own home is because just the thought of our home made me sick to my stomach.
There were so many smells in our home–new flooring, new wood trim, freshly sanded and painted walls, sawdust from the mitre saw, all mixed in with smell of the 1970s bones of the house. It completely grossed me out. And of course, it was too cold to open windows so we couldn’t even air the place out!
Haha even after moving in, I’d bought these brand new cheap bed sheets, in what I once thought was a beautiful emerald green colour. After a week of sleeping in them I couldn’t stand it anymore, I ripped them off the bed and threw them in the trash–looking at them, and touching them disgusted me. (The sheets were CHEAP so don’t even worry.) I had no idea I could feel nausea towards inanimate objects.
Even the thought of going to IKEA grossed me out, a place I’d always loved so dearly. So so weird!
The first three months of pregnancy were actually a blur for me because I was completely incapable of doing anything! I was SO exhausted. 80% of the time I was lying in bed watching Greys Anatomy (which never made me queasy, surprisingly!) nibbling on crackers and frozen mango chunks. Also the fact that it was the COLDEST months of winter, there wasn’t much else to do anyway. haha.
The thought of emptying a dishwasher or even getting up to go to the bathroom was the Mount Everest of my day. Even scrolling through Instagram felt like such a chore. It also pains me to admit this, but I had these hopeless thoughts about how I may as well shut down my Flour & Floral brand, the blog and everything because I couldn’t do it anymore. It required so much energy. Thankfully I was too tired to act on those silly thoughts, and the blog’s still here and actually stronger than ever!
Suddenly, there was a light at the end of the saltine-cracker-tunnel:
The Second Trimester, HALLELUJAH:
I will NEVER forget the day when I was on my way home from work and just felt completely starved. Jarryd and I ordered Chinese food and I just went to TOWN on it. Finally, the feeling of being HUNGRY again was back and oh my goodness, food had never tasted so good before! And better yet, it had been a week since I’d last thrown up!
After three months of living like a nauseous fatigued sloth, the second trimester for me was a breath of fresh spring air, a glorious sunrise proceeding a long, dark night.
I was back to drinking my usual morning cup a Joe, eating my bagels, and of course always feeling hungry because food was just INCREDIBLE to me now.
I haven’t had any of those weird cravings that you hear about like dirt, pickles, and/or paint chips off the peeling walls. But I will say that my cravings are all sweet things, like Iced Capps from ONLY Tim Hortons, ice cream with chocolate chips, or sweet & savoury combo foods like Sweet Chili stir fry. (I make this like 2 times a week for myself now.)
I also do this thing where my friends will tell me what they’re having/making for supper and then suddenly that’s exactly the meal that I want. I’ve been eating alot of hot dogs lately, haha.
An Interesting Ultrasound…
My ultrasound was DEFINITELY NOT like you see in the movies. In my opinion Manitoba, Canada has the worst policies when it comes to ultrasounds. Firstly, my own husband wasn’t allowed in the ultrasound room with me until AFTER the ultrasound-tech was done gathering her images.
Secondly, if we wanted to take home a single sonogram image from my ultrasound, we had to pay $25!! Can we just take a picture from our phone of the screen? NOPE. It’s not like I was dying to have an image, I just thought it would’ve been nice to have. But we weren’t about to pay $25 for an image that looks like everyone else’s baby (haha–you know I’m right)!
But on a more thankful note, everything looked good in there! And it really was a cool experience, feeling and SEEING the baby’s movements simultaneously!
Where We’re At Now:
As I write this the baby is 26 weeks along (6 months), and aside from pelvic pain and restless leg syndrome at night (this just started, ugh!), I am in LOVE with being in the second trimester. I could very happily just stay at this stage for the next year and be completely content. I have tons of energy, food tastes amazing, and the baby’s movements are so freakin’ cool! (LOL to bladder kicks.)
The beginning of the third trimester is less than two weeks away and Jarryd and I are tryin’ to stay cool as cucumbers. TRYING. We’re so thankful for all of our friends’ and families support through this pregnancy, whether it’s through words of encouragement, super helpful advice, and/or baby hand-me-downs, we are feeling really blessed. THANK YOU.
And thanks for reading this!! I’ll just be over here trying to not think about giving birth…I’ve never been so terrified of something before. Follow along on my Instagram for more day-to-day updates/more bump photos and please, don’t hesitate to share with me your biggest pregnancy/baby tips and stories! I’d love to hear them all!
And oh yeah, due date is the beginning of September! 🙂